Monday, December 25, 2017

The one with the Beef Biryani

I accidentally ate beef.

I once was travelling around south Karnataka, India with my friend Omkar, Martin and Kelly - exchange students who were from England.

Martin had his camera ready to click almost all the time and seemed particularly amazed whenever he saw cows on the road. When we were crossing Bandipur national park we happened to spot some deer grazing near the highway and I was excited because it must be the first time I had seen deer in the wild. I looked at Martin who was rather indifferent and didn’t bother to even touch the camera. I asked him that back in the city he was taking so many pictures of the animals and was there anything wrong now. What he said particularly struck me. He said that he sees deer in his backyards in England all the time, it was ‘the cows in the city streets’ that interested him more.

(This photo is Martin’s actual Facebook album)
We arrived in Ooty quite late in the evening and it was almost past the dinner time. So there were not so many restaurants open. We saw a place which seemed okayish. They had Beef Biryani and some other stuff on the menu ( It was before the nationwide ban on beef). Since I am from Maharashtra where most of the Hindu people don’t eat beef and eating beef is a considered as a borderline sin, I preferred to eat veg Biryani instead of my favourite dish - Chicken Biryani in such a restaurant. I asked the waiter if they had veg biryani. He nodded which I considered as yes. Omkar and Martin ordered something else which I don’t remember exactly.

When I was halfway through finishing my meal, I noticed that there were small pieces of meat in my Biryani. To me, it was okay if it was chicken and I assumed it was chicken. I called the waiter and since I didn’t want to make a big scene there, told him that he mistakenly has mixed some of the chicken biryani in my dish which was okay. He calmly said that it was no Chicken and actual pieces of beef as he just scraped the rice from the beef biryani carefully avoiding the meat pieces, thus making it a vegetarian dish. I was like - what did he just say..?

I almost had finished my meal and the waiter was standing there as if nothing had happened. I was pissed. I returned the remaining stuff and waited for few seconds to ‘digest’ what I had just done. Omkar was smiling at me but Martin started laughing hysterically. He knew from somewhere that I did something which was forbidden in my religion. He started pulling my leg as how I just missed my chance to go heaven and I was no more a Hindu and how my family would abandon me if they came to know.

Though I was disappointed, surprisingly I did not feel shocked or ashamed. After a few brief bank moments, I was fine. I told him it was okay. I said that I did not eat it knowingly and sure God would understand. He too seemed astonished that I did not create a big fuss out of it.

That was the only time I ate beef. Never again. Not because God would punish me, I know she has better things to do than taking notes of who eats what, it’s because I need to draw the line what I can and cannot eat. It made a good memory. My family and friends have a good laugh about it anytime anyone mentions it.
This was originally posted on Quora by me as an answer to the question : Whats the weirdest way your fast food order got messed up?

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